Sass'uke
by korel.c
Summary: He just wanted to prove he could write a poem better than Sasuke's fangirls. That's all, but that it should turn out like this? Well, he couldn't...couldn't deny that he liked it. SasuNaru, PW/P.


Yeah, it's really fangirly. I apologise -- though not for the man!sex. The sex is entirely, entirely, unapologised for. Umm. Where was I, oh yeah... Not mine, and there is a really thoughtlike thing here so I'm very sorry for it and Sasuke is slightly OOC and this is sortakinda AU and sortakinda PWP but not really and it's not mine because it's Kishimoto's and okay, I'm gonna stop being distracted and actually let you get to the... Ahem. Oh, it's uncoherent and Naruto and _Naruto_ and Ahem.

* * *

Sass'u-ke

"Hn."

"_WHAT?_" As if he wasn't already distracted enough, having come through the door with that _damned _piece of paper in his hand, with that _damned_ scowl still staring at him, with that _damned_ face and those damned rosy, soft lips and those ohgod, those midnight black eyes and the raven hair and the _damned _bangs and the ohgod, the silky smooth deep dark caramel gold-tint voice --

"I said, is there a reason for this?" Oh yeah, the voice...

"NARUTO."

Uhm. What was he saying again?

"NARUTO, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE. WITH PAPER IN YOUR HAND."

Okay, so he wasn't actually yelling, no he wasn't, not yet, but there was this tone in his voice? yeah, there was this tone in his voice that would've been almost scary if it wasn't for the...if it wasn't for the...ohgod, those lips...the tongue he could see flicking...

"Look, I...bastard, I justwantedtoprovethatIcanwritebetterpoemsthanyourdamnfangirlsokay?"

They'd spent a week, a gods-be-damned week, trying to sort out all the mail and the love letters and the poems and the heart-shaped cards and the wilted flowers and all that stuff that had been sent to Sasuke since pretty much the entire _village_ shifted base. Evacuated, he supposed that people could call it. But somehow, the fangirls'd located his position, and fucking hell if they hadn't sent a fuckload of stuff already. Oh yeah, there were thongs too. And pictures. He burned them to pieces in his mind everytime he saw pictures afterwards.

...Not that he wasn't surprised when he recognized a few, familiar handwritings. _Really _familiar handwritings.

"NARUTO." Silence, then:

One _perfectly_ shaped eyebrow rose upwards.

He could _swear_ that was a smirk that twitched the bastard's lips. Could swear it. _You're going to die once I get my hands on you finally_, he promised the bastard.

_Die, or be pushed against a wall and taken goddamned hard do you hear me? so goddamned hard that you'll be screaming my name when you co_--

"DOBE."

"What?!" Startled.

"Did you...finish the poem?"

"Uhm..."

"May I...see it?" One perfectly shaped eyebrow moved, and then there was this perfect face...and then there were these perfect hands moving across the wood-grained table, not that he was looking at the table particularly...

"That is, if--" and the bastard stopped to _savor_ the word, ohgod, 'savor', ohgod, "--if you could _actually _write a poem better than my fangirls. Hn, maybe I should pay more attention to how they write, after all--"

Naruto almost yelped. "..." Wait, what? "FUCK YOU, TEME!" He slammed the paper down on the table, the sturdy table (oh, and he should know about sturdy. Know that he did, oh _yeah_), the sturdy table creaking with the force of his slam.

"I can _so_ write a poem better than your damned fangirls!" he huffed, then spun around to face the barred door.

The rustle of paper behind him informed him that Sasuke had currently taken up the poem. His poem. He set his jaw and narrowed his eyes and stared out of the barred doorway, where it was sunny. Not in here, even if the lamps were cozy and it was almost stufflingly warm and did nothing so much as make him feel like he was freezing from the inside out except he wasn't quite shivering and ohwait, there it was...

_...Was that a SNORT? That's it, Sasuke was -- is -- going to die now!_

Naruto spun around, his eyes already glaring at the bastard, his _perfect_ damned hair all in place, setting down the paper, already with a pen making corrections -- wait, what the HELL?

"Hn."

Naruto walked -- okay, sprinted -- over to the bastard so fast he thought his feet were going protest at him for causing them pain. He was over the bastard in a flash, leaning over his shoulder and ignoring Sasuke's steadily more irritated "Hn."'s, poking his head into the paper. He cringed. Oh, that particular line. Yeah, it could've used more syllables and maybe a better sinonimm for onyx...

"Get off, dobe." Sasuke pushed him off. "Get the chair if you want."

Naruto's eyes blazed and a grin stretched his face. "Okay, oyabun!" He was around the desk and back in short seconds.

His eye twitched. "...Don't ever call me that again. Ever."

"Yes, oyabun!" Really, it was just so much fun teasing the teme, even something as minor as this.

The teme took a breath and was silent. For a moment. He seemed almost back to his usual not-talking self and Naruto was damned, _damned _determined that he not _be _his normal not-talking self.

"So..." he started, casually putting an arm in Sasuke's...lap, and sprawling over said lap, he rolled over to face him and looked up at Sasuke's suddenly rigid face. And body. And well, other things. Other appendages, for example. "...You were saying?"

"Naruto, Naruto, Na--dobe--," Sasuke hitched his voice, annoyance creeping in as Naruto made sure to...shift a little. "This is...worse than the damn fangirls."

Naruto went stiff. "W-worse?"

Sasuke nodded solemnly. The bastard. He was _so_ going to be bent over the desk and fucked into fucking _submission_. "Worse. I don't think I've ever read such drivel. Except for the time Kakashi locked me in a room with only the Icha Icha to read..."

_Come, Come,_ the thought of the _words_ in his head, made the breath in his throat hiss and his tongue suddenly stuck itself out of his mouth and licked his lips and he was grinning, ohgod, so hard because Sasuke was looking down at him and there was desperation in his posture and he seemed to be trying so hard to keep his hands on the desk --

Naruto shifted again and felt Sasuke's half-groan rumble through their bodies, and he could've died happy, right there.

Shit, the Uchiha was a damned _quiet _person, he didn't even moan during sex, and he had that much experience, damn the bastard, and he was moaning now? Fuck, he'd just have to -- whoopsy-daisies, did he shift again? His bad --

That time, the moan was _definitely _not _just_ felt.

Naruto opened his eyes from where he'd unconsciously closed them just to bask in the half-memory, half-reality, of the teme's moan and god, were those glares in his eyes? Those shimmering black pools that he could just drown in and swim in like trickling pudding and the sweetest of red-bean and black sugar paste? Those cherry-pink lips that were soft, soft as a dandelion's dew or a lion's purring paws? His hair, so thready and light and puffy under his questing fingers and yet so stiff, so much like another part of hi--

"Get _off, _dobe."

BANG.

"Why the fuck did you have to shove me into your _desk_ teme couldn't you have pulled yourself out and pushed me off afterwards?!"

Through gritted teeth -- "Shut _up_, usuratonka--" Hitched breath, "--chi. You want to know why I thought your 'poem' was absolute drivel?"

Naruto shot instantly upright.

BANG.

"OW, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU PUSH ME UNDER YOUR DESK, BASTARD?!"

Was that a--was that a _smirk?_ Oh, Naruto would never cease to be amazed today. Nope, nada, not going to be not unamazed and he was speaking and there was tongue and

"DOBE." oh, the tone was back. Good to know. Sasuke'd be getting a prank pulled on him. In the near future. And if that near future was going to involve innuendos and sexual situations and almost-sex but _just_ abstinence with interruptions it wasn't _his_ fault, it was ENTIRELY the bastard's...

"You want to know why?" And then the bastard was standing up, STANDING UP, and it wasn't his fault that he was wearing a kimono that looked entirely too godlike for him, and hey it was a kimono and he was on the ground so he should be able to...

Wait, the voice was speaking again, and he swallowed and tried to scissor his legs together to relieve the umm, feeling thing. Shit, he was getting a hardon. He didn't know how to describe it otherwise. Oh, but there was a little bit of pain in his chest and his throat felt like it was a bit clogged and his jaw felt a little weightless.

"Your metaphors make no _sense_, Naruto. That's _why_."

"Hn?" Cocking an eye upwards, cocking, ohgod, _cock_ing, Naruto managed a rather lazy rendition of and ohgod he didn't even want to _think _about Shika at this point in time -- "Hngh?" he tried again.

Sasuke's breath sounds disappeared and suddenly Naruto got worried. He stood up.

BANG.

"OW!"

Pulling himself out from under the teme's desk, he stood, slowly, rubbing his head. "Teme? 're you okay?"

He got so far as halfway up the teme's chest -- when did the bastard get so gods-be-damned _tall? _before he found himself shoved against the desk and spun around and there was the sound of puddling clothing on the floor and his pants were getting yanked down and even if the bastard was breathing quickly but shallowly at least he was breathing, right?

"DOBE." oh hey, there was the tone again, "IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR CLOTHES OFF AND LET ME FUCK YOU, RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE FUCKING _DEAD_." and wow, that was more words than Sasuke normally used in a _week. _Naruto hummed. Oh yes, he was having a _good_ day.

His shirt was almost torn off him and he twisted his head back around and glared at his -- _his_, not some fangirl's wet dream, mm, even if he'd had at least three about the teme by now, he was goddamned sick of washing his sheets oh wait where was he -- raven-haired, caramel-voiced, rosy-lipped BASTARD.

He said as much.

"BASTARD!"

"What."

"I LIKE THAT SHIRT!"

"So if you want to keep liking it, take it off yourself."

Naruto hummed and thought to himself and could feel the brunette behind him, oops, did he think 'brunette'? Was it just possible that Sasuke was feminine? Mm...he just...

"HURRY THE FUCK UP, DOBE."

"Alright, alright...sheesh, impatient bastard," Naruto muttered under his breath, reaching up to slowly, slowly lift the loose cloth of his shirt, bending over the desk and his poem to show a little bit more of his ass...wait, that bastard was NOT getting a view of his ass unless he said so.

He continued lifting the shirt up slowly, slowly, while the warm, naked presence, thankyouverymuch, was pressing up against the small of his back. He tilted his ass up a little higher, almost grinning at the door. "Mm, Sass'u-uke," he made sure his voice hissed on the 's' and broke on the 'u', "...you've got me, I'm yours, I'm yours for the taking...I'm yours..." he made sure his voice broke a little and he could feel Sasuke twitch a little.

Then --

"But you'll have to catch me first!" He ducked down, rolled through under the desk and swiftly pulled up his pants in one smooth motion, heading towards the door at top speed.

Sasuke growled and vaulted over the desk, sprinting for Naruto. He could hear Sasuke's bare feet slapping on the ground, and Naruto smirked, a little.

"Oh, Sasuke, I think you should know that Sakura-chan is waiting outside, and I'm sure she'd like to see you...the way you are..."

The feet instantly stopped. Naruto smirked. Wider. It was almost a grin, now, full-fledged.

"Oh, SA--"

"SHUT UP!" Okay, _now _he was yelling.

One moment later and Naruto found himself with an armful of uncharacteristically loud Sasuke, toppling him over to hit the door.

BANG.

"OW, TEME. WHAT THE HE--" why wasn't his yell echoing in the small room? oh wait, that's right, his shirt was gone. Wait, what? Why was his...oh right, there was a tongue in his mouth and it was sliding so warm and slick over his lips and it was a pink tongue and his eyes were open and the teme was _right there_ and he smelled so goddamn good, bleak and sharp and absolutely _Sasuke_ and his fingers were on his nipples and his fingers were on Sasuke's right back and ohh--

He pulled away, just for a second. His chest was feeling even tighter than being warm what with Sasuke being pressed up against his own chest and his cock was twitching and oh wait, what was he going to say again? Oh yeah.

"Hey, bastard," Naruto said, his smile almost stretching his face. "You do remember that this room is soundproofed, right?"

The ensuing glare said that, yes, he had forgotten, and no, he did NOT appreciate Naruto bringing that up in the middle of...this... and interrupting their time together, godDAMMIT.

And god, his eyes and his tongue and his...Naruto reached a hand down to slip into his own orange-blue pants but there was another arm already there and then his limp, small cock, and no, he wasn't unproud to say that but he wasn't dickless, goddamn Sai, was stiffening and growing and shiiiit, um, what was he thinking again? Oh yeah, it was moving, and his mind was clouding over and goddammit, Sasuke, why don't you just _let me take you?!_

"I'm almost...surprised that you haven't said 'dattebayo' even _once_ today, dobe." Shitshitshit, Sasuke, why did you _stop?_ Fuck, if this was what Sasuke felt earlier he was going to stop interrupting him ever again--

He bucked his hips against Sasuke's rigid fingers and whimpered a little. Whimpered some more. "Fuck, teme, _fuck me._"

"_Now_ you're pleading?" cruel, sadistic BASTARD. "Remember -- Sakura-_chan_'s out there, and I'm _sure_ she'd like to see you like this...after all..."

CRUEL, SADISTIC BASTARD.

"SHUDDUP AND FUCK ME, TEME! OR AT LEAST GIVE ME A BLOWJOB OR SOMETHING!"

Chuckle. Dark, sinful chuckle that made him almost drop to his knees and beg...or do other things, if only Sasuke would let him _move..._

He whimpered some more. More. And more. For good measure.

Sasuke reached a hand into his hair and gripped it tightly and bit his lip in a fierce kiss and he was moving again and ohgod, Naruto couldn't help it but he just moved his fingers and S'a-asu'ke's entire arm twitched and he...

Stopped. Again.

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU NOW, BASTARD!"

"Shh...shh..." and the bastard just stuck a finger at Naruto's lips. "You're going to do me...favors...one for everything I say about your...poem."

"Fine, fuck it! Hurry up and start! ...Bastard," he added, mumbling. S'asuke grinned at him and -- sinfully -- drew him away from the door, forcing him onto his knees. Not that he was ungrateful at being there, definitely not...

"Your first line," the damn Uchiha started, "_'Your hair is as black as the black sugar of night, so bright shining stars of velvet-clawed despair'_ is very poetic, but it makes absolutely _no goddamned sense_. For making me try to figure that out, _you're_ going to suck my cock. Without using your hands. Or anything else aside from your mouth."

Naruto shrugged. There were worse fates than that. Like going without sex for two days. Or Sasuke cooking. Yeah, definitely worse fates.

"Ne, Sa'suke," and Naruto made sure to make eye contact here, "You're so big..."

Sasuke choked. And choked again. "You...Y-you had no problem before now."

Naruto chuckled, "Oh, but I know that. How I do know that," he trailed off, before leaning forward and instantly forcing his mouth around Sasuke's cock. And sucking. Sucking, and sucking. He leaned forward and backward and he really wanted to swallow Sasuke's cock but there was a limit to how much his gag reflex would take and it'd served him really well against some of the poison he'd taken before, thankyouverymuch, so he wasn't going to change it no matter how much Sasuke would love it -- how much _he'd_ love it, actually.

Sasuke was silent, his breathing not. very. steady, but then neither was Naruto, when it came to it. He stopped moving his head around Sasuke's cock and

Naruto managed a series of grunts and tongue flicking around sensitive skin and slits and heads that Sasuke pretty much translated as "What's the next line, bastard?" which was pretty much right, and Sasuke leaned his head back and continued. With periodic hitches, of course.

"And then your next line, which _rhymed_, '_Silver red-rimmed coatway glasses, the black-brown pools of your warm stare,' _makes, again, no _fucking sense. _What the HELL are coatway glasses, and where the HELL am I silver? I'm not Kakashi, you...you..."

Naruto leaned back from where his saliva almost dripped off Sasuke's cock, blowing gently onto his balls and watching in almost delight as Sas'suke's cock twitched. His own cock twitched, come to that. "You're silver," he said, talking to Sasuke's cock, because he wasn't going to look up, nosirree, "Where you're growing white hairs. They're in little patches all over your head, that's where, Sass'uke." God, how he loved making Sasuke's breath hitch in time to his own.

He didn't know that his own voice was almost a purr, smooth, sweet honey purr.

"Sh-shit," Sasuke continued, his eyes half-lidded. "Th-that's why you're going t-to...t-to...fuck, you're going to let me come in your mouth."

"Sure," Naruto shrugged. There were worse fates. Much worse fates.

He leaned forward again and sucked again, and this time, his hands twisted upwards to cover and stroke the part of Sasuke's cock which wasn't, at present, already in his mouth. His eyes watched as the muscles just above Sasuke's cock twitched and flexed as Sasuke breathed in and out, unevenly, and he hummed with a little grin around his face. His lips brushed over lumpy veins and thick, hot shaft, and he almost giggled, but laughed just in time and Sas'u-k'e was making little growly noises and Naruto was grinning around them definitely this time and his hands were smoothing the skin and

"FUCK, NARUTO." Hoo boy, the tone was back again, and this time Naruto revised his growing plan of innuendo and sex-situations to involve threats of Sakura-chan bursting in on them for maximum enjoyment of Sasuke's pain, goddamit, because that tone was just NOT FAIR and he fucking knew it --

Sasuke's hips bucked against his head and his head contacted with rather hard muscle but at least it hurt less than the goddamn _desk _and a moment later his mouth was filled, well not quite filled but mostly filled, with sticky, gooey, bitter-salty come and he swallowed almost immediately and tried not to puke it back up. Yeah, he'd left the teme alone for long enough. It was almost a full fucking _mouthful. _Then again, he'd had worse porridge, remnant of the damn bastard's cooking.

He still resolved to make the bastard eat more pineapple, though. Pineapples made his damn come taste _sweeter._

He pulled away, wiping his mouth with one hand and restlessly caressing Sasuke with his other. Damn the bastard. Why was he still _hard? _Well, slightly less hard than before, but still hard. GODDAMMIT.

At least his voice sounded sleepy and lazy and post-sex, even if he was still on his feet. Naruto tried scissoring his legs to get rid of the more persistent itch in his cock and the hammering of his heartbeat, but shit and he couldn't get rid of it.

"Your third line, dobe," and he sounded so lazy, so, ohgod, "_'Your alabaster cheeks and stone-carved lines that run too swiftly down the back of my mind,' _seriously alarms me. Who made you learn those words at kunai-point, Naruto? The way you...suck my cock...seriously makes me confirm that you're you...after all..."

"Damn you, bastard, did you even _read_ the Icha Icha? Where the HELL did you get up to, huh?"

Sasuke closed his eyes and let something ripple out through his throat. "I should have known. Icha Icha, huh."

His eyes sprang open and he practically yanked Naruto upright. "Bend over and let me fuck you."

Naruto looked at him. Then smiled. Sasuke waited.

"Hn."

"Hn."

_"Hn."_

"..."

_"HN."_

"Dobe."

"No."

"NO...?"

Naruto crossed his arms. "Not until you go through the rest of it."

Sasuke sighed. "The next few lines were...fine, I've seen their like in so _many_ goddamned letters and poems, for gods' sakes...but the last line..."

Naruto leaned forward, his face almost contorting in anticipation. He was _proud_ of that last line, dammit!

Sasuke's stormy eyes clouded as he almost muttered the last line, his memory having already seen it through at a glance. "'And I can say your name twenty different times, all filled with lust, and you'll hear it twenty different ways from throat-raw dawn till night-shaded dusk,' is, Naruto...shit, Naruto, I actually like it. FUCK ME. NOW."

And Naruto laughed. And laughed. And laughed some more. Then --

"You really like it, teme?"

"Yes--" through gritted teeth. Naruto's hand had slipped down and was moving on his cock, after all. Forgive the poor man.

"I'm...de'lighted," Naruto hiccuped, "Ab'solutely de'lighted." His other hand was trailing around Sas'u-ke's nipple, and then he leaned forward and traced a spiral between Sasuke's nipples and other patterns. With his tongue. And lips. And hot, moist, breath.

Sasuke's breath hitched. Some more.

"Oh gods," he breathed. "Oh gods."

"I'd rather you say my name," Naruto whispered into his chest.

"Na'-ru-'to--"

"Hng," Naruto hummed at him, malicious grin firmly in place. "Louder."

"NA'RU'TO--"

"Better," he hummed at Sasuke, leaving a trail of kisses up Sasuke's neck and then down in a cross across his body, quietly laughing at Sasuke's stiff posture. Back-crackingly stiff.

"Mm, good--"

"NOT GOOD," Sasuke's 'tone' cut him off, and Naruto grimaced. Seriously, that plan was taking on monumental proportions now, including Sakura-chan, several 'unanswered letters', ohgod how he hated them, and all the goddamn phallic things he could think of in two days...

"SURFACE. EXPOSED. NOW."

"Fine, Sasuke-..._seme, _just this once." He scowled at Sasuke and walked away from him, leaning up against the desk and over his paper. If he was going to be taken, it was going to be on HIS terms.

He tugged off his pants, making sure to moan deliciously, his voice breaking in little parts, breaking and squeaking and he leaned over to the seriously, luxuriously upholstered chairs-side of the desk and pulled out the lube from a drawer.

"Catch, se-teme." His terms, goddamit.

His sem--his teme was warm and hungry and goddamnit, hot behind him, his little grunts much more arousing than he'd ever admit...right now, anyway, and then there were smooth, almost cold-warm fingers parting him, like the warm-cold sunshock that was riding his body except for where the little, okay, not so little feeling was thumping his heart and itching his cock. And clogging his throat.

Parting him and slipping inside, and then there was a little bit of pain when they scissored apart, and he would have scissored his legs too, but there was warm skin, hairs, strong leg, a strong knee between them and ohgod, ohgod, Sasuke was parting his legs and there was kissing on the back of his neck and sunshine-golden molass-dark voice pouring into the back of his neck and

pain, pain, pain and more pain except where the weightlessness spread from his jaw and down the front of his body and up his arms and jellied his knees and okay, he wasn't feeling much around his ass anymore, just the tightness in his chest and the thumping of his heartbeat and the twitching of his cock, and fuck, fuck, _fuck_ if it wasn't good, hard, rough, _paaaain_, and ohgod, ohgod, ohgod, that was all he could think of

fuck, fuck, _fuck_, ohgod, ohgod, ohshit he was moving in him and then he stopped and

"BASTARD, MOVE! FUCKING HELL DO I HAVE TO DO THIS MYSELF?!"

and he thrust his hips out and rubbed against the wood surface of the table and thrust his ass back and enjoyed the rumble-ripple of Sasuke's half-moan and the way his cock twitched in his ass when his ass clenched tight, tight, tight around his cock and there really wasn't that much else to say, wa's they? Ohgooooooooood

His throat became more clogged and his eyes teared up a little as Sasuke pulled him backwards, their steps slapping awkwardly, noisily, on the packed ground, not quite breaking contact. Sasuke's lips whispered on his spine, up and down, a trail of little presses and tears and his hands were rough-smooth on his own cock, Sasuke fingers in place of wood, in place of wood, ohgod, ohgod, now was _not_, decidedly _not_ the time to think of wood, not when he was rocking, rocking, rocking, and crying and coming into Sasuke's thrusting hand, thrusting in almost-synchronized rocks because there were different levels of friction, dammit, and there were two of them happening to him right now...

He closed his eyes and let the feeling unclog itself from his throat with a gasping, quivering, "SASUKE!" and shuddered to a halt, feeling his muscles clench around the teme's warm rough-smooth fingers and come, come, come, coming and going and going higher and higher and splashing, splurting, jetting out all over that sturdy, sturdy desk.

Ohgod.

"Sass'u-ke?" Weak, limp, whimper, whatever you call it -- over the brink, because there was warmth, but he knew less warmth than before, flooding his asshole and almost dripping out the back.

"Hn--yeah?"

"Ho'w're we go'in to clean this u'p?" Naruto panted, looking at his clothes and cringing. Really, there was only one choice...

Yup.

"Well, there's only one thing disposable in this room," Sasuke dragged Naruto back upright, reaching past his steadying arms to grab ahold of the poem-paper. "So, I'll just have to use this, won't I?"

_Shit, bastard, I can say your name twenty different times, and you'll hear it different every time...make that twenty-one._

"Bastard," but at least Sasuke cared enough to wipe him down, didn't he? That was something that goddamnit, Naruto loved about the damn, fuck, fuckable man.

Fuck.

* * *

The next day Naruto slammed the door almost as soon as Sasuke entered, bearing a whole pile of _Naruto's _fanmail.

BANG.

"I HATE YOU, FUCKING TEME!"

...mm, nope, 'didn't stop him from fucking his teme, though. Though this time, _he_ took care of Sas--'uke.

* * *


End file.
